"I'm not gonna eat any (no) pie this year!" -Sarah with an H (Fall 2000)

"Does my butt look good?" -Emily (09/23/2000)

"I think my nose is good." -Sarah with an H (09/25/2000)

"We write in blood." -Sarah with an H (10/04/2000)

"Why am I French?" -Emmick (10/06/2000)

"Every child should have a baby goat to teach them responsibility." -Joey (10/23/2000)

"Whoa!" -Dunkle (10/27/2000)

"Can you do the curve? I can't do that." -Sarah with an H (10/30/2000)

"It's pouring down the rain." -Erin (10/30/2000)

"Let's go to Virginia. We'll show you a beaver." -Dunkle (11/08/2000)

"They're like spam balls." -Emmick (11/13/2000)

"I've always wanted to be crazy, sexy, cool." -Joey (11/13/2000)

"All I gotta do is smack it around." -Erin (11/17/2000)

"Why's the edge of my cheese hard?" -Joey (11/17/2000)

"She makes me sweat." -Erin (11/29/2000)

"Is she a reptile or something?" -Sarah with an H (11/29/2000)

"Well those are kinda 'bootish'." -Dunkle (12/03/2000)

"My car only stretches so far." -Joey (12/06/2000)

"Want a ding dong, Dunkle?" -Emmick (12/06/2000)

"They're my ding dongs!" -Emmick (12/06/2000)

"We better go now, if you want to get it on." -Michelle (12/11/2000)

"It made me stupider going to that class." -Dunkle (12/14/2000)

"I'm not very good at these brakes." -Erin (12/31/2000)

"Her pieces are more interesting than mine." -Dunkle (12/31/2000)

"Remember, HMMM?" -Erin (12/31/2000)

"Do I look like the knower of all bread?" -Joey (01/02/2001)

"Yeah, it feels good, but it hurts." -Erin (01/02/2001)

"I saw my shadow and thought it was a car." -Sara (02/17/2001)

"Dunkle will roast your peeps." -Chuck? (05/04/2001)

"Talk to the pen, cause the Dunkle ain't listening." -Jenn & Dunkle (05/06/2001)

"Oh wait! uunnnhh." -Dunkle (05/06/2001)

"Chicken chicken, chicken head." -Unknown (07/13/2001)

"You drive like a girl, with really small ****." -Joey (07/14/2001)

"My weakness is rhythm." -Dunkle (09/11/2001)

"Don't tell your wife that." -Emmick (09/11/2001)

"They sure are!" -Dunkle (09/14/2001)

"I'm not a musician, I'm a guitar player." -Dunkle (10/14/2001)

"Erin and I figured out how I got pregnant." -Michelle (11/10/2001)

"Well I guess I'll just stick to **** now." -Dunkle (02/16/2002)

"Haven't you seen Space Jam??" -Dunkle (03/02/2002)

"I was freezing the meat." -Erin (03/22/2002)

"Look at the sign!" -Susan B. (05/25/2002)

"I will never be whipped." -Emmick (09/14/2002)

"I have found my calling in life. I should be the pastor of a black church." -Scott M. (10/19/2002)

"We've known for a long time that he wasn't gay." -Chuck (10/31/2002)

"The packaging is always more fun." -Dunkle (10/31/2002)

"I wish I didn't." -Emmick (01/17/2003)

"Joey would make a pretty girl." -Joi (02/17/2003)

"Girls fly better." -Julie (02/18/2003)

"Girls like to have their buns warmed." -Erin (02/20/2003)

"It's not rain, it's dripping water." -Dunkle (03/20/2003)

"Man, I'm getting stupid." -Dunkle (03/25/2003)

"Just stick it in the box! You stick it in the box! I did stick it in the box!" -Dunkle & Joey (05/10/2003)

"The speed limit was 55 so I slowed down to 70." -Dunkle (05/17/2003)

"I hope I'm not in a position where I have to think today. You're driving!" -Dawn & Dunkle (06/26/2003)

"Don't tell me to get ready when I'm already getting ready." -Erin (09/18/2003)

"Do you have a bed?" -Virginia (10/30/2003)

"I often think without speaking." -Stacy (10/30/2003)

"Naps don't cure everything." -Erin (12/30/2003)

"Horse poop is good." -Virginia (01/15/2004)

"Silence among the people!" -Carmen G. (02/07/2004)

"Heck yeah!" -Erin (02/20/2004)

"If I don't do anything, I won't get anything done." -Dunkle (05/17/2004)

"I'm going to tell the pastor on you!" -Erin (05/20/2004)

"The funny thing is, it doesn't hurt." -Scott M. (07/31/2004)

"Awana man!" -Stacy (09/16/2004)

"Awww. It's not a real bunny!" -Virginia & Dawn (10/02/2004)

"Marriage does not compute." -Emmick (10/09/2004)

"Oh, his butt closed." -Erin (03/05/2005)

"Doesn't she look nice? She looks nice." -Erin (05/25/2005)

"Monkey on a rocket!!" -Dunkle (06/28/2005)

"What's a scone?" -Goben (07/22/2005)

"I can't find the Internet. I can't get to the Internet. The Internet is missing." -Erin (10/27/2005)

"I should do laundry every night." -Erin (11/21/2005)

"I can just whip it out. I don't have to go diggin' for it." -Dunkle (12/10/2005)

"I didn't. I was always good." -Erin (01/27/2006)

"It was never a circus until the elephant pooped." -Erin (06/15/2006)

"We want your booty, not your butts." -Dunkle (06/30/2006)

"He does like to look at my pieces!" -Erin (01/01/2007)

"It's really putting down the snow." -Erin (01/02/2007?)

"What are you writing down? I didn't say anything stupid." -Erin (03/31/2007)

"I'm so cool, the sun shines on me 24 hours a day." -Dunkle (04/07/2007)

"I don't like the crack. I'm falling in the crack." -Erin (07/18/2007)

"Our spam is now all in Spanish?" -Dunkle (11/23/2008)

"It's not Christmas without the tacky." -Erin (02/22/2008)

"What, are we communists? I didn't know I said that out loud." -Chrissy R. (01/27/2009)

"I don't try to be slow, I'm just good at it." -Erin (02/04/2009)

"Fine, we'll split our spools." -Dunkle (04/05/2009)

"You just whipper-snapped!" -Erin (05/15/2009)

"This is a different kind of funny, because he always dies at the end." -Dunkle (05/15/2009)

"Cause I'm a little girl." -Matt J. (05/30/2009)

"It's been there as long as I've seen it." -Dunkle (08/15/2009)

"I'm sure there are some good green lizards in Japan." -Dunkle (08/29/2009)

"I was trying to be nice but just didn't do it correctly." -Dunkle (10/11/2009)

"Sad elbow." -Dunkle (02/14/2010)

"I found part of my Grany that I had dropped." -Dunkle (03/30/2010)

"I have drugs in my car." -Erin (09/17/2010)

"At least my snowmen are cute." -Erin (01/26/2010)

"I'm a loser and I'm stupid." -Josh D-M (01/15/2011)

"I'm tiny. (Sara hit Josh and we all cheered.)" -Josh D-M (03/20/2011)

"Don't take notes on this. I'm not that good of an example." -Josh D-M (04/03/2011)

"I'm the coolest kid in school. They look up to me." -Josh D-M (04/03/2011)

"Gotta leave your stuff in the back." -Josh D-M (05/15/2011)

"I thought that was a girl singing, and then I realized it was Justin Bieber." -Dunkle (06/18/2011)

"You boil it in the bag!" -Kim R. (06/30/2011)

"I could have been the one scamming people." -Dunkle (10/01/2011)

"The G String is the hardest. Ask any guitarist!" -Dunkle (11/01/2011)

"You've got a finger, you can push it." -Brandon C. (10/25/2013)

"Maybe I haven't had enough beer to filter out the beer taste." -Dunkle (10/25/2013)

"I can't be management if I'm booted into Knoppix." -Dunkle (11/01/2013)

"I put you in the Matrix, I think I can make a border." -Dunkle (10/06/2014)

"I like my nut. It looks good." -Dunkle (10/27/2016)

"It's a bummer how legality prevents awesomeness." -Dunkle (03/29/2018)

"I am getting tired of Chick-fil-A, though." -Erin (05/08/2018)

"Are you trying to push all my buttons?" -P and N (05/10/2018)

"It's all my fault because I skip the commericals." -Dunkle (10/31/2018)

"I'm not saying you're slow, but you're not fast like Dad." -P (12/17/2018)

"I can't help you anymore." -Dunkle (10/10/2019)

"I've got enough knowledge." -Dunkle (02/04/2020)

"I probably still have drugs in my car." -Erin (02/04/2020)

"I don't know why this isn't working either." -Ed (02/07/2020)

"I thought you knew what you were doing." -Ed (02/10/2020)

"I am beyond languages." -Dunkle (02/13/2020)

"I don't even know what you're trying to say." -Dunkle (02/14/2020)

"Stop looking at my underwear!" -Dunkle (02/27/2020)

"Stick out your pinky finger when you eat your soup. Just in case you make weird sounds when you're drinking your soup, you're still fancy." -P (07/31/2020)

"When you're old, do I get your LEGO?" -P (01/29/2023)